This is a post I’ve wanted to write for quite some time, but
I wanted to make sure it was right. You see, the person this post is about is
very special to me. I wanted to make sure this post expressed that. I also
wanted to make sure it expressed how I feel about the experience in the best
way possible. With that being said, I hope when you’re finished reading this
that you have a new outlook on a topic dear to my heart. I hope it brings you
joy. And mostly I hope it sparks action. Whether that action is large or small
it will mean the world to me and to so many others.
I’d like you all to meet my brother Jackson (JB). Today is
his 11th birthday! We aren’t your typical brother and sister. We
don’t live together. We are not close in age. And we definitely don’t look
anything like each other. Jackson is adopted from Ethipoia. This month is also National
adoption month. So what better way to celebrate these two events than my telling
you our story.
When my dad and stepmom first told me that they were
adopting I was a little weary of the thought of it. I did not know a lot about
adoption and I just didn’t really see the point in it. I wasn’t completely
against it but I probably wasn’t as excited as they expected me to be. Remember,
I said I would be honest here so that’s just me being honest. I was also a teenager
at the time and a little selfish about sharing the attention.
The adoption process can be really long. No matter what kind
of adoption you do, it can be a tiring process. Like I said earlier, I was only
a teenager when my parents adopted JB so I didn’t get the full extent of the process,
but I did get to see some of it all worked. My parents wanted to adopt internationally
so they chose Gladney as their agency for adoption. For me, the process was a little
odd because I already knew that our house was great for children but the agency
wanted to be sure of that. As an adult, I get that they wanting to make sure
the child getting adopted is going to have a loving home better than where they
are already. The agency asked lots of questions. We would send them pictures of
our family. They came to our house to do a house study. They also interviewed
my sister and I. I’ll never forget that interview. Not because of what the interviewer
asked but my dad looking at my sister and saying I want you to be honest but
don’t be crazy. Ha! He was probably terrified of what we might say. Needless to
say, my parents made it passed all the hoops and were found to have a home
suitable for a child.
I’ll never forget the day my parents found out that JB was
finally ours. We were all hanging out one morning and they received a phone
call. That is one of the most important phone calls. International adoptions
are great but sometimes dealing with their government can be a tricky task.
Many times countries will shut down adoptions. It could be months to years before
they open adoptions back up. We were so relieved that he JB was officially ours.
They cried and we had a celebratory lunch because we had finally made it!
My parents didn’t
specify whether they wanted a boy or a girl, but I think my dad was pretty
excited once he found out it was a boy. Growing up in a house with two sisters
and then having two daughters was probably enough girl for him. The funniest
part was once we found out that Jackson would be the child, they would adopt we
would get a few pictures of him in the orphanage. In almost every picture he
was dressed in girl clothes because the orphanage ran out of boy clothes. I
thought that went along well with all the girl things my dad endured.
A little while later my stepmom and dad flew to Ethiopia to
pick JB up and bring him home. My favorite picture is my stepmom holding JB as
a baby in Ethiopia. It’s a picture that makes everything they endured worth it.
When JB was finally brought home my whole opinion on adoption
dramatically changed. Yall, I do not know what I would do if he was not in our
life. He was exactly was our family needed and I am so thankful that God hand picked
us to be his family. God is so good and works things out so beautifully. JB is
now my best friend. There’s never a time that I don’t want in the door and he
doesn’t tackle me with a hug. We love playing x-box together. He beats me at
all the games except football. I love getting to pick him up from school and taking
him to Dave and Busters. We play soccer and basketball in the back yard and
stay up late watching movies together. He loves interrupting mine and my dads phone conversations so he can tell me how many goals he scored at his soccer tournament. And we both love annoying our daddy.
Nothing like still getting in trouble when your twenty-five.
My parents treat Jackson no different than they treat me and
my sister. There’s been a few learning curves but only minor ones. Nothing like
trying out several different barbers to get the perfect hair swag. Boys care
more about their hair than I did when I was in fourth grade without a straightener.
He keeps them busy with soccer tournaments and basketball games. He loves
hanging out with friends and talking in school. Ha. He’s a kid just like I was.
He’s full of love and laughter, a little bit of crazy, and a whole lot of fun.
If you’ve ever been a part of adoption you know how
beautiful it is. No matter the reason behind it, it is truly a work of God. If
you’ve never experienced adoption or don’t know much about it, I want you to
encourage you to research it. Let it become a part of your life. It doesn’t
mean you have to adopt someone. There are so many other ways you can be a part
of it. Babysitters are always needed. There are always kids who need a foster
home. There are always meals that could be made. And there are always prayers to
be prayed. I am not currently in position in my life to adopt or foster but I
do pray for these kids often and I hope that one day I will have the
opportunity to adopt kids. Besides, I myself have already been adopted into the
family of Christ. And the same way that we took in JB exactly as he was and
love him as our own is the same way Jesus loves us.
If you’ve been a part of adoption, then I’d love to hear
your story! Feel free to comment or message me about your adoption experience.
Here are a few pictures of my brother and me. He’s the best and I thank God
everyday for him.
Happy birthday JB. I love you.
Mary Ashton
